the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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