I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
