May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
