I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
