What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
