What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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