can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
