first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
