Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
