You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
