woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
