Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
