No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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