school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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