Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
