He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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