shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
