maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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