he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
