So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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