It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
