There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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