i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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