Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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