i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
ok first of all what the fuck
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
