i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
