I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
