I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
