I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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