is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
