who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
