ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
