She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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