WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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