i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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