I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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