I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
