508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize