The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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