I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
