this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize