Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
