Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
