Whod you bang
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
