I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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