GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
