i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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