why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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