I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
