If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
