the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
