You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
