I just made out with a guy for $7.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
