i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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