she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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