we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize